


Boy, You're Gonna Carry That Weight

by reges_criniti



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Canon Era, Drabble, Friendship, Gen, Light Angst, Ratings: G, post-episode, the Great Merlin Re-Watch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 14:32:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5931847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reges_criniti/pseuds/reges_criniti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All this talk of destiny. Some days it was too much to bear. (Post 1x05- Lancelot)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Boy, You're Gonna Carry That Weight

**Author's Note:**

> I got a crazy desire to re-watch all of Merlin. And then an even crazier idea to write a small fic for every episode. This is the first of what I'm sure will be a descent in to insanity.

On top of the parapet, watching the faint orange swatch of Lancelot's cloak catch and snap in the wind, Gaius' words echo in Merlin's head, "Magic is our only hope".

Magic. It's a heavy burden, this secret he has to carry. Every day acting the fool, the oaf, the guileless servant while a hidden fire thrums within him.

The depth of his power is still new, still strange to him. For years he'd done nothing more than enchant a broom to do his cleaning, or a knife to peel and chop potatoes, or a spade and pail to clean up after the sheep. And now- now thrust in the middle of some serious, big power stuff while an entire kingdom depends on him, on his magic? Stopping a dagger mid-flight, bringing statues to life, igniting a lance with magically strengthened flames. If he hadn't seen it for himself, hand't felt the magic surge through his veins each and every time, he would have called it all a dream.

It's a thankless job- both manservant and sorcerer, Arthur's lackey and his savior. And all this talk of destiny. Some days it's too much to bear.

To have a confidant, an ally, a friend who knew him and accepted him fully- Merlin almost wept with relief when Lancelot confessed he knew of Merlin's magic.

Here was a man who was good and pure and true. Who knew the griffin could not be defeated by lance alone but nevertheless charged in without hesitation. Here was a man who saw his life as a mere trinket when weighed against the fate of a kingdom. In Lancelot, Merlin saw a man who could stand beside Arthur and herald in a new era for Camelot.

They made a formidable team: steel and bravery and magic. _This_ , this would be the foundation of Arthur's Camelot.

Merlin's shoulders sagged as the clip of hooves grew ever fainter and more distant. Maybe there would be a day when magic would be free again, when his magic could sing and dance and _save_ ; when he could stand alongside Arthur as his equal. But until then, Merlin locked that hope securely away. The loss of Lancelot, of his friend and secret sharer left his heart aching, hollow, and heavier than it had ever been before.

Merlin turned, feet dragging, encumbered with his so-called destiny, forced once again to carry this weight all his own.


End file.
